Symbolic Ceremonies and Rituals
Symbolic Ceremonies or rituals are becoming more popular in Independent Celebrant Led Ceremonies and can be used to symbolise unity, love, support, fun and the special bond between those partaking in the ceremony.
There are many different types of symbolic ceremonies or rituals some of which I will explain below. Some have historical ties and are considered traditions while others are much more modern.
You are welcome to have any symbolic elements in your celebration if you choose me as your Independent Celebrant (as long as it is legal). This includes religious aspects, spiritual aspects or secular. I am happy to assist or support any faith or belief system within the ceremony and I do my utmost to be inclusive.
Handfasting Ceremony
Handfasting is believed to be an ancient traditional Celtic ceremony and dates back to 7000 BC. In Ireland a couple would have a handfasting ceremony to signify their intention to become married. The handfasting would be performed by a priest for the couple. After the ceremony the couple would usually live together as they had expressed that they wish to become legally married. This became more recognised in the 1700s when there was not enough officiants available to carry out all the marriages so handfastings become widely used to symbolise the couple’s intent to marry which would usually last a year and a day. The couple would legally get married when they could do so by an officiant.
Nowadays handfasting ceremonies are becoming increasingly popular as they are a beautifully visual way of literally “tying the knot”. The colours of the ribbons or cords used in a handfasting represent different things. There are some typical representations for the colours, however, it is totally the choice of the couple or polyamorous pod to decide what colours they wish to incorporate and what they mean to them. I will list below the most common attributes for the colours but this is not at all definitive:
Silver: creativity, inspiration and protection
Gold: longevity, intellect, prosperity and wealth
Black: success, wisdom and vision
White: peace, purity and truth
Grey: balance and neutrality
Brown: grounding, home and talent
Pink: unity, romance and truth
Purple: health, healing, power and spiritual strength
Blue: patience, calmness and fidelity
Green: luck, fertility, nurturing and prosperity
Yellow: confidence, balance and harmony
Orange: kindness, attraction and encouragement
Red: love, passion, courage and lust
Sand Ceremony
Sand ceremonies are a beautifully visual way to express and show your unity and the coming together of your families. This stunning ceremony can be included in weddings, naming ceremonies or vow renewals.
You can include coloured sand representing different virtues or symbolising each person involved in the ceremony. There is a central glass bottle, which is usually ornate so you can display it in pride of place in your home, then each chosen member of the sand ceremony will take it in turn to pour about two thirds of their coloured sand into the central bottle. This creates a beautifully layered effect and each and every sand ceremony creates a truly unique and meaningful keepsake of your special day. After everyone has poured their individual layer everyone pours their remaining sand in together to symbolise the coming together and combining of them all.
This is a great way to show the uniting of a couple or of a family especially in such cases as an adoption ceremony, a wedding ceremony were children are involved. Plus the children will love being able to get involved and physically be able to partake in the ceremony. A sand ceremony is a great way to incorporate children in a ceremony. They can have their own bottle of sand to pour into the central bottle and can be given the choice of colour to make them really feel involved. They may need a guiding hand to help them pour and perhaps a box to stand on depending on their height, but it is a beautiful way to include the children.
Unity Candles
The use of Unity Candles in a ceremony has a fairly unknown origin. It is believed to have originated in the 1970s at American Christian weddings but it does not specifically have any religious meanings and can be used by anyone wishing to symbolise their unity and the coming together of their families.
A Unity Candle Ceremony is a truly beautiful way of symbolising the coming together of a family or couple and can be executed in different ways depending on the space and the wishes of the people involved.
Typically there is one larger central candle and multiple smaller candles which represent each person taking part. Each person takes it in turn to light their candle and then all together these candles are used to simultaneously light the central Unity Candle.
Children can be included in the Unity Candle ceremony if they are standing with an adult and are old enough to be careful and sensible around the candles and flames. The suggested earliest age is seven but this is very subjective to each child. I would not advise for younger children to partake in this ceremony.
Wine Ceremony
Drinking wine as part of the wedding ceremony goes back to ancient Mediterranean countries. It is believed to have Christian ties with the wine potentially representing the blood of Christ as it does in Holy Communion. However, many people choose to incorporate a Wine Drinking ceremony in their celebration to signify the unity of two individuals or even two families coming together.
In this ceremony often each member of the couple have a different bottle of wine of which they pour into one central cup simultaneously so that the wine blends together representing the two individuals becoming one. They then each take a turn to drink from the central cup or make a toast, or usually three to celebrate their past, present and future.
Three reasons a couple may wish to include a wine drinking in their wedding could be to simply represent their union as two becoming one, to honour their belief in Jesus Christ but in a modern way which could be beneficial if the couple are multi-faith as it could have multiple meanings. Also a couple may wish to include this to add a special, different element into their ceremony making it more fun and representing them as a couple.
A Wine Ceremony could also be included in certain Naming Ceremonies such as a Re-Naming Ceremony or Coming Out Ceremony. As long as the celebrated person or people involved are legally old enough to drink alcohol then this celebration can be incorporated.
Crystal Ceremony
Crystals hold energy and different types of crystals are believed to hold different types of energy. Each crystal is thought to have different attributes and properties, such as helping to calm and ground someone, support love and relationships and even healing or aiding with certain ailments. There are certain crystals that could be useful in this crystal ceremony and it would be useful to discuss the potential options with celebrated people. Here are a couple of examples:
Rose quartz is a very popular crystal for love in relationships as well as self-love and friendships.
Green aventurine is a stone symbolising love and luck and can help a new stage of the relationship by supporting and embracing change.
There are many more options for the celebrated people to choose from too.
During the ceremony I would have an incense stick burning so that the people involved can cleanse their crystal of choice over the smoke and put their shared intentions into it. I would also ask that the family and friends also think positive thoughts and project their well wishes for a long and happy marriage onto the couple and the crystal. I would caveat this by explaining that I realise that this is not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ but please enter into this with an open mind and positive thoughts. I would suggest using a beautiful and medium sized crystal for this so that it can take pride of place in the home as a reminder of their commitments, support and love they have from their family and friends.
Ring Warming Ceremony
A Ring Warming Ceremony is a simple but soulful ritual in which the wedding rings for the couple or polyamorous pod being wed get passed around to all of their friends and family for each person to bestow their love, support and well wishes into so that when the return back to the rightful owners they are charged with all the positive energy and love for their future together.
The passing around of the rings can take place while a meaninful, chosen piece of music is played or a reading or poem is being read.
Jar of Hope Ceremony
For a Jar of Hope ceremony the family and friends as well as the celebrated people will write down messages prior to the ceremony for the celebrated person to pick out when they feel them or their relationship needs a boost or they are going through tough times. The messages could be simple advice or affirmations such as “believe in yourself, you are wonderful”, “never go to bed on an argument” or they could be ideas for a date night or expressing the love they have for the person or people and how great they are. The idea is to help them through any rough patches using the supportive words from their loved ones.
A decorated jar will be passed around the guests who can pop their notes inside while a chosen piece of music is played or a reading or poem is being peformed.
Breaking Glass
Breaking the Glass in a wedding ceremony is originally a Jewish tradition. It is believed to symbolise the collapse of the Temple of Jerusalem which in turn strangely lead to the eventual growth of Judaism as the Jews were exiled out of Jerusalem and moved to Babylonia fulfilling a prophecy which had been envisaged.
Others choose to believe that breaking the glass represents the fragility of marriage and how the couple should come through any bad times together, supporting one another.
Another symbolic meaning conveyed by the breaking of the glass is the hope that the couple will remain happily married for as long as it would take to pick up all the individual pieces of glass and put the whole thing back together again completely.
A couple could choose to include the breaking of the glass in their ceremony if they wish to represent their relationship, acknowledging that it may be fragile but that they will work through the tough times together. Another reason could be for a multi-faith couple to use this ritual as a way of symbolising the breaking down of any faith-based barriers and preparing to unite their lives together. Another reason for using this ritual is to honour their Jewish beliefs, traditions and heritage.
Jumping the Broom
Jumping the broom has a variety of different connotations and potential origins.
Data shows that jumping the broom dates back to the 1700s with the Roma community in Wales. The Roma communities were not able to be legally wed so they used to hold ‘Besom weddings’ where the couple would jump over the broom to signify their relationship and unity. It was believed that if one of the pair accidently touched it while jumping over the broom their marriage was to be hopeless, the marriage could even be annulled by jumping backwards over the broom again.
Another historical meaning is from America in the slavery period when slaves were not able to become legally married and so they used jumping the broom as a way to signify their union. This is an important part of history and so the act of jumping the broom at a wedding should not be taken lightly without understanding the history behind it.
Pagans and Wiccans sometimes include jumping the broom in their wedding ceremonies too to symbolise sweeping away the old and any negative energy and bringing in the new as well as representing making of their new life and home together. The broom is also said to symbolise the balance of the female and male energy.
A couple may choose to include jumping the broom to pay their respects to those who went before them and suffered during the slave labour of America. A couple may also choose to include it to symbolise getting rid of old energy and bringing in new, positive energy into their lives and homes. A couple may also choose to show their unity and potentially to renounce witchcraft in their relationship, lives and home.